The Pulse of Life

I’ve always been searching for the secret to living life unapologetically. I wanted to get drunk on life.

To this day, I’ve been trying to understand the origins of this longing.

Maybe it’s rooted in my earliest moments—when, at birth, I was stuck in the womb for four hours, struggling to enter the world. Or perhaps it’s because, as a child, I was abandoned three times.

Whatever the reason, I became determined to compensate for these unfortunate events by proving to the world that I’m worthy of existence. Whatever force sustained me in those early struggles became the driving force to live fiercely and seek out every ounce of what life has to offer.

And so I ventured out.

I travelled through continents and countries, settled in cities and then left again. I spent years building homes, relationships, and careers, only to leave it all behind in days. I owned possessions and then got rid of them once they started owning me. I was intoxicated by the hypnotizing company of women, the embrace of nature, and the vibrations of music. Psychedelics even brought me face-to-face with the heartbeat of existence.

I devoured life, savouring it like haute cuisine rather than fast food. Each experience was about aligning with the ebb and flow, accepting its impermanence. I was hooked—addicted even. And whenever I felt the force fading, I became restless and hungry for more life.

Other seekers on my path became either companions, friends, or lovers. Those who stuck around got to ride the waves with me, and together we ventured to places we would have never reached on our own. But at times, I had to let them go, realizing that while I could do many things in life, I couldn’t make others follow me in my madness.

Through all these experiences, I’ve come to realize that the secret lies not in adding, but in shedding. We already have everything we need to be free. It’s the excess that holds us back. Guided by a force greater than ourselves, we begin shedding the weight of the world, and what remains are those victorious moments when we are light enough to rise above it all and, even if just for a moment, become one with the pulse of life.